Dale Carnegie, the author of "How To Win Friends and Influence People" engineered interpersonal relationships.
Not to misquote him, but today I want to remind
us of the crucial aspect of making anything happen. From selling a house to
starting a family and even acquiring wealth. It's vital that we learn people
skills.
If you find that your office, family, and social
relationships are not what you desire, ask yourself, "Am I doing
everything to ensure my relationships strengthen instead of falling
apart?"
This guideline is for the person looking to
build strong relationships and influence people.
Listen 3
Good listening is something we often heard
growing up. "Listen to your teachers," "listen to your
parents," we always had an authority figure that we needed to listen
to.
Now, when it comes to building a strong
relationship with others, it's important to listen to what's spoken and to
what's left unsaid. Listening is the key to influencing people.
When you listen, people feel validated, seen,
and supported. If you're a senior person in the workplace, the only way to
positively influence junior workers is by listening to them.
Don't be the person listening to their inner
chatter; always ready to respond as soon as the other person stops to breathe.
Don't Criticize or Condemn
Criticizing someone diminishes them. If you must
criticize, it helps to first listen to their point of view and knowing how they
came up with their conclusion.
And by all means, try as much as possible to
condemn while preserving the other person's dignity. When we condemn, we tend
to broadcast our morals and advertise ourselves as trustworthy. However, this
behavior around people you know serves as a basis for criticizing your actions
when you find yourself wrong.
Show Courtesy
Use "thank you," "please,"
and "sorry." These words show respect. Whether you're at home with
your kids and partner or among co-workers, you'll earn respect wherever you
go.
Courtesy costs nothing, but it pays well. When
you leave a good impression on people, you're likely to influence them to
follow your lead. And that's how you influence decisions without going
crazy.
Lead By Example
People appreciate someone who has mastered their
art. It's no wonder why we are in awe of gymnasts, athletes, and artists. These
people do what they do all day long. That's why it's easy for a person who is
an expert in their area to influence another person.
This is because you show confidence, and people
believe your opinion is relevant since you are good at what you do.
Be Kind, Not Always Right
Validation is important. But it's easy to get
lost in proving oneself. In the quest to finding validation, you may step on
other people's toes and leave people resenting you.
Instead, practice kindness even when you know
you're right. This way, people will listen to you because you are kind.
Remember
Perhaps the most powerful impact you can have on
people is remembering people's names and their ideas. Next time you meet
someone, remember as much as you can about them and even refer to what they
said.
It makes people feel important, which goes along
with building a strong relationship.
Give Honest Appreciation 
Insincerity is easy to detect in one's voice.
You'd rather not say anything at all than come off as a dishonest person.
You'll only be losing points in your quest to influence others. Remember, your
appreciation needs to be heartfelt. So, don't forget to use words such as
"I really appreciate the help," "Thank you very much for,"
and "I sincerely appreciate..."
And, as you appreciate people, don't forget to
be generous with praise. People work better under an aura of praise than under
an umbrella of criticism.
To summarize,
These are just but a few of the
things we can do every day to earn us points with others. Keep them close. Use
them wisely, and see how your relationships grow.
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